Annie M. Henderson urges later-in-life lesbians to break people-pleasing habits

Author and coach Annie M. Henderson is using Pride Month to spotlight the emotional toll people pleasing can take on women who come out later in life. Henderson says healing those long-standing patterns is key to living authentically, setting boundaries and building support after coming out.

Why it matters: - Henderson says many women who come out later in life still carry decades of people-pleasing habits. - Those patterns can make it harder to build self-trust, set boundaries and live honestly after coming out. - Pride Month is also a reminder that visibility does not erase the emotional work that can come with late-in-life coming out.

What happened: - Annie M. Henderson marked Pride Month by encouraging later-in-life lesbians to break free from people pleasing. - Henderson said women who come out later in life often suppress their true identities while prioritizing the needs, expectations and approval of others. - Henderson tied the message to her book, Later in Life Lesbian: Coming Out Later in Life & Leaving Fear, Overwhelm, & Guilt Behind. - Henderson also pointed to her coaching services and support group as resources for women navigating that transition.

The details: - Henderson defined people pleasing as keeping others comfortable while losing connection with personal needs and desires. - Henderson said many people learn those patterns because pleasing others once felt safer than disappointing them. - Henderson said women may experience grief, fear, uncertainty, sadness or anxiety after coming out. - Henderson said support matters during that period because many women have little representation or guidance when they come out. - Henderson said coming out is only one part of the journey, and letting go of unhealthy patterns built over decades is another. - Henderson said many women have spent much of their lives being who other people needed them to be. - Henderson said her book offers guidance for women who want to move beyond guilt, fear and shame and build lives that reflect who they really are. - Henderson said her coaching aims to help people pleasers and women coming out later in life rebuild self-trust and set healthier boundaries.

Between the lines: - Henderson is framing late-life coming out as both an identity shift and a habits shift. - That message suggests the hardest part may not be disclosure itself, but learning to stop self-abandoning afterward. - Henderson is also positioning community support as a practical antidote to isolation and old coping patterns. - A YouGov finding cited in the release said half of self-identified people pleasers reported that prioritizing others had made their lives harder, and nearly one-third said they had been socialized to behave that way.

What's next: - Henderson says women coming out in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond need space to keep processing after coming out. - Henderson is available for interviews. - More information is available here.

The bottom line: - Henderson's message is that Pride Month should celebrate coming out and the longer, less visible work of learning to choose yourself after years of putting others first.